


Right Hand

by Akamba



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25920094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akamba/pseuds/Akamba
Summary: Tsukishima was going through life without much trouble, the future seemed bright and his plans were taking shape nicely. To have his trust shattered and nurse a broken heart with the help of a certain bed-headed friend was definitely NOT part of said plans.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei/Original Character(s)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 140





	1. SHATTERED

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!! 
> 
> I recently got immersed into the Haikyuu!! Universe and found myself happily trapped with a few ideas floating in my brain. This is my first work in this fandom and is completely different from what I usually write, both in length and genre, but I had so much fun experimenting with this. It’s actually quite a simple story, nothing special about it but I had such a great time writing it. I hope it is of your liking.
> 
> Please keep in mind English is not my first language so grammar and vocabulary crimes might be all over the place, please feel free to point them out and I will solve then immediately. 
> 
> Please enjoy and please comment, I would love to read your thoughts. 
> 
> I don’t own Haikyuu!! All rights belong to Furudate Haruichi-sensei.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima discovers a sad truth and reaches out for a friend.

**CHAPTER 1. SHATTERED.**

The streets of Tokyo buzzed with the usual life of a big city, waves of people rushing through their days, cars trapped in traffic while their drivers made their best to not lose their minds, businesses filled with chatter and noise from their customers. At least the weather was nice, not too hot but not too cold either, a little humid but with just the right amount of cold breeze to not make it uncomfortable.

Despite the chaos of the city around him, Tsukishima Kei embraced the sense of peace that washed over him as a new fresh breeze of air kissed his skin on his way back home.

Life was moving quite nicely towards the bright future he had planned for himself, he was on his second year of University studying something he loved, he was living peacefully in a quiet apartment with someone he loved, he was in the University team playing as a regular of the sport that he loved.

Love.

A word a couple of years prior he wasn´t sure he understood, an emotion he had avoided to save himself from the pain it could cause. An emotion he was now too familiar with. And he liked it.

A small smile appeared on his lips as he remembered the big news his coach told him not even an hour prior. The future seemed brighter and brighter. Tsukishima took a deep breath in an attempt to stop his body from vibrating in excitement, scolded his features to stop himself from grinning like an idiot and quickened his steps to half walk-half run the last couple of blocks to his apartment.

The silence of an empty home greeted him as soon as Tsukishima opened the door. It was empty, Shinji wasn´t there. Again.

Not that he was surprised, it was a common occurrence as of late. His boyfriend was constantly busy at his part-time job working a few extra hours to pay for a new laptop.

Tsukishima closed the door behind him, left his shoes at the genkan and quietly made his way towards their bedroom to leave his backpack and training bag. The apartment was small, one bedroom with enough space for two futons, a small kitchen with just the essentials, a small bathroom with a bathtub where Tsukishima could only fit tangled in a tight knot of his own limbs and a tiny common space where everything from studying to eating took place. They were university students in Tokyo after all, their part-time jobs could only pay for so much. 

The blond pushed back the slight disappointment that came with the silence and decided to focus on the excitement that still ran through his veins. Tsukishima couldn’t wait to share the big news with his boyfriend, to see his smile, to melt in a hug, maybe even allow himself to finally grin like an idiot. Shinji wasn´t home yet but maybe they could share a little celebratory dessert once he was back too, both men shared a sweet tooth they didn´t hesitate to indulge.

With his mind made up, the tall student fished his wallet from his backpack and exited the apartment with a single destination in mind.

Hanami coffee, a small yet popular coffee shop with an extraordinary view of the cherry blossoms of the park across the street and a recipe of strawberry shortcake worthy of Tsukishima´s praise.

Shinji´s favorite shop, the place where they had their first date over a year ago, where they hold hands for the first time, where they had their first kiss. It was a little far from their shared home but all the great moments they experienced there were worth it, and the shortcake was worth it too.

The sun started to set as Tsukishima entered the metro station and the sky was completely orange by the time he returned to the busy streets four stations later.

His feet carried him through the familiar streets, his mind completely focused on the future bliss his boyfriend and shortcake promised.

His feet stopped in front of a familiar large window, his mind shutting off completely at the sight of familiar brown wavy hair, a familiar figure sitting before a slice of half-eaten cake, familiar lips kissing the man that sat beside him. Kissing a man that was not Kei.

What were the odds? How probable could it be to find your boyfriend kissing another man in a city as big and crowded as Tokyo? Not much, but it was just his luck.

Tsukishima stood by the window, taking in the scene before him as his brain refused to process anything. After what felt like hours, but couldn’t have been more than seconds, his brain finally came back online.

He wished it hadn´t.

The previous excitement was gone in a flash and left a cold emptiness in its place. His heart clenched in his chest and the unmistakable feeling of helplessness settled in his stomach.

_Scream, rage, go inside and punch them in the face._ His irrational mind told him.

_Leave._ His rational mind supplied.

Just as the blond started to go back on his tracks his rational mind supplied another epiphany of logic. _Get some proof. Just in case._ And so, he did, quickly grabbing his phone with trembling fingers, Tsukishima snapped a photo of the couple shamelessly making out inside the coffee shop that once held beautiful memories.

For the second time his feet carried him through familiar streets, this time his mind was numb and unresponsive. He didn´t took the metro, instead of the fifteen minutes train ride the blond walked for forty minutes like a zombie through the streets of Tokyo all the way back to their apartment, he ignored the chilly night wind and focused instead to put one feet in front of the other, his brain repeating _don´t feel, don’t feel, don’t feel_ like a mantra.

The silence of the empty apartment felt even colder as he opened the door, he didn´t bother to slide off his shoes in the genkan, he didn’t bother to turn on the lights, he was going to go out again soon anyways, plus his now ex-boyfriend didn´t deserve the courtesy of proper house etiquette.

He marched to their bedroom and took out a suitcase from the closet not even bothering to look at que clothes that fell as he maneuvered the suitcase out. Tsukishima threw most of his clothes inside it, another pair of shoes and his training bag, then he picked up his backpack from where he left it earlier and left the room without a second glance.

The sound of a key and a door opening made him stop in his tracks in the middle of the common space, warm brown eyes stared at him from the genkan with evident confusion as his ex-boyfriend took in the sight of Tsukishima with a black suitcase in one hand and his back pack on the other.

“Hey, Kei. Umm… you have a training camp or something?”

His heart raced on his chest, he wanted to leave unnoticed, to merge into the shadows of the night without a word but the universe wasn´t having it. Just his luck… again.

It took him less than a second to erase the despair on his face and slip on his mask of fake confidence and uninterest. A mask he hadn´t used in that apartment for a while.

“No, Satou. I´m leaving.” Tsukishima internally congratulated himself for the even monotone voice he managed to pull off.

“What? What do you mean you are leaving? And why are you calling me Satou all of a sudden?”

“It means exactly that, I’m leaving. I’ll come to get the rest of my things in a few days.” The blond tilted his head slightly to the side and looked down to the smaller man in a practiced scowl. “You lost the right to be called by your first name when you decided to cheat on me, _Satou_.”

The color drained from Satou’s face in a second, the man made his way past the genkan and reached for Tsukishima, grabbed his arm and pulled him forward.

“What are you talking about? I would never cheat on you, Kei!”

Tsukishima yanked his arm out of his grasp and took the opportunity to take a couple of steps forward to change their positions, the blond now was closer to the door than his ex.

“You are lying. At least have the courage to own up your fuck ups.”

Good, the mask was firmly in place. His expression showed no emotion, his voice didn´t tremble and his eyes pierced right through Satou’s soul like a cold dagger. He could do it, fast and easy. No emotions, no feelings, no tears.

“I´m not lying! Kei! Please believe me, I don´t know why you have that crazy idea on your mind, I would never. Let´s talk about it.”

Fast and easy, Tsukishima reminded himself. There was no use to a long screaming match full of bullshit, he witnessed it, he had evidence, it was best to end it all at once. The blond fished his phone from his pocket and hold it in front of Satou’s face, the photo of him and the other man in the coffee shop showing on the screen.

“Then try to explain this. And don´t even try to say it’s not you, you are wearing the exact same hoodie right now.”

“I… I… that’s… that´s a misunderstanding…”

Tsukishima tilted his head again and snarled, his expression challenged his ex to even try and play that card. The man tried anyway.

“He approached me and… forced himself on me… I pushed him back immediately and made him leave. It must have been a trap! To break us apart! Don´t you see? Whoever sent you that photo wants us to fight and split up. Maybe it is someone from your volleyball team, you know how some of them don´t approve of our relationship. And you are falling for it! Come on Kei, you are smarter than that! You should believe me! I am your boyfriend; don’t you trust me?”

Trust.

What does that word mean anyways? Until an hour before Tsukishima trusted entirely on Shinji, his boyfriend knew his secrets, his desires, his dreams. During the year long relationship Kei had lowered his walls and allowed him in, confided his entire soul to the man he loved, willingly took of his mask and stood bare just for him. Even that same morning when he woke up next to the naked body of his partner, Kei was certain that he could sacrifice his own life for him. But it was clear Satou didn´t feel the same way.

It was all a lie. And he fell for it.

Tsukishima could feel small cracks appearing on his once perfect solid mask, each memory carved a wound on his soul that felt unbearable. He had finally decided to open up to love, and it backfired royally.

Fast and easy, the blond reminded himself again. He needed to be done before the mask started to crumble. Kei lowered his voice just a bit to keep it from trembling, his left hand closed hard around the suitcase handle to avoid fidgeting with his fingers.

“No one sent it to me.” 

“Eh? Wha-?

Kei straightened his posture, set his shoulders strong as his face leveled to deliver a heartfelt glare, the anger of being blatantly lied to surpassing his heartache for a second.

“I took it myself.”

The shock in Satou’s face left no doubts of the thoughts racing through his mind, the fear, the guilt, the sheer terror of being caught. There was no way out and he knew it.

Tsukishima took the chance and continued his way to the door; his steps were firm and his body didn´t hesitate. The blond opened the door but stopped when Satou made his last move.

“Please don´t leave me, Kei. I love you.”

It was said in a voice filled of anguish that anyone would have thought the man was dying but Tsukishima knew better. Satou wasn´t dying, Kei was.

Memories of their lives together invaded his mind; memories of every time Shinji had said those exact words. _I love you._ The first time after a couple of months of dating, that one time after a big match, another time when a rainstorm trapped them under a bridge, when Kei took care of him during a cold, when they moved in together, when they passed their final exams, when Kei injured his wrist, on the phone right before practice that very same day.

All lies. All fake. Just a game with his heart as the toy and his soul as the price.

The oppression on his chest worsened as his heart threatened to stop all together. A small but constant tremble made his way through his body and his breathing came out in short puffs. Tsukishima turned his head, looked above his shoulder straight into brown eyes as a single tear slid down his cheek.

“Fuck you.”

The venom in his voice matched the anger in his golden eyes. That was it, the mask was cracked and started to crumble. Tsukishima gathered the pieces and kept them together with sole determination, he would not give Satou the satisfaction of seeing him broken. The blond walked out the door, slammed it shut behind him and walked away.

For the third time in the day his feet carried him through familiar streets, a couple of blocks later he started to wipe away the stubborn tears that fell uncontrollably.

He pushed his emotions aside and focused on his current situation. _Think rationally, no time to waste breaking down. No feelings, just reason._ Tsukishima did a quick overview of his belongings without slowing down his pace.

Wallet and phone on his pocket. Cards and cash in the wallet. Some clothes and shoes in the suitcase, laptop and a few notebooks on his backpack. Enough to go by for a couple of weeks until he had a new place to stay and he could retrieve the rest of his belongings. Now, he just needed a place to pass the night, a bench in the park was not an appealing option.

His brain sorted through all the people he knew in Tokyo that could lend him a hand but stopped once he realized where his feet carried him this time. A bus stop he recognized was just a couple of meters ahead of him, the blond looked at his surroundings and noticed he was now far away from Satou’s apartment. He hadn´t noticed he walked for almost an hour, it felt just like a few minutes.

Tsukishima sighed as he tried to brush away with his hand the trails of dried tears from his cheeks. The blond took a deep breath and fished his phone from his pocket, then he made the call.

_Calm and collected._ His rational mind reminded him. _No need to worry anyone or make a scene, everything is fine, you are fine, it was fast and easy._

_“Tsukki! What do I owe the pleasure of your call?”_

“I… Hi… Kuroo-san…”

_“Tsukki? What’s wrong? You sound weird, are you ok? Can I help you with something?”_

There went the calm and collected. Of course, his trembling voice betrayed him as soon as he heard his friend’s voice. But he could not help it, the sound of that musky tone so familiar and full of warmth made his throat close and the blond ended up choking down sobs.

Calm and collected, he reminded himself. Try again.

“I… I’m in the middle of the street with half my stuff in a suitcase and no place to go. Do… Do you think I could… pass the night at your place? Please.”

That turned out better. His voice was low and definitely cracked, but it was an improvement from the first try.

_“Sure, sure. You know you are always welcome here. Where are you? I’ll go pick you up.”_

“No, it’s ok. I’m close, I’ll be there in less than five minutes.”

_“Got it. See you in a few.”_

Tsukishima disconnected the call and sighed again. _No time to waste._ The blond took yet another deep breath, straightened himself and began to walk towards Kuroo’s apartment.

No time to waste.

No need to feel.

Never again.

Tsukishima Kei walked through the chilly Tokyo night with firm steps and his head held high, the cracked mask of fake confidence and uninterest firmly in place.

***

To say Kuroo was surprised by Tsukishima’s call was an understatement, the blond never called, never. It was always texts and the occasional comment on social media.

After the battle at the trash heap in nationals of his last year of high school the two of them kept in sporadic contact, then fully reconnected when Tsukki moved to Tokyo for university. The two middle blockers fell into an easy friendship bonding through volleyball, teasing comments and a shared hatred for bad coffee.

He had grown to care for the salty blond to the point of considering him a close friend. They had shared enough coffee, chats and even a few hugs the last year. Even more importantly, Tsukishima had lowered his defenses around him, it took a couple of months and a lot of effort from both of them but eventually Tsukki let him see parts of himself that not many people knew about.

Kuroo was there for Kei when he came out about his relationship to his volleyball team and some members of said team were not nice about it.

Kei was there for Kuroo when his grandfather died and let him cry on his shoulder while rubbing soothing circles on his back.

Kuroo was there for Kei when the possibility of being kicked out of the team made him fall into a spiral of severe anxiety.

Kei was there for Kuroo when his last roommate ran for the hills with half of Kuroo’s belongings.

The bed-headed man was confident when he said he knew Tsukishima well, and with the same confidence he could say that the blond did not sound fine on that call at all. His voice, his forced breathing, everything was off.

Kuroo hopped out of his futon and hurried to prepare his apartment for his guest. He cleared the cluttered floor and spread the spare futon next to his, grabbed some extra blankets in case Kei needed them, cleared the low table on the living room and pushed the pile of books to a corner.

Then the doorbell broke the silence of his apartment. Kuroo rushed to open the door, a heavy weight setting in his stomach as he turned the knob. Tsukishima Kei stood in front of his door with a suitcase in one hand, his backpack on his shoulders and a tear stained face.

“Tsukki, come in. Man, you are crazy, why are you walking in the middle of the night in a t-shirt? You’ll freeze!”

“Thank you, Kuroo-san. Sorry for intruding.”

He watched as the blond stepped inside and left his shoes in the genkan, the older student grabbed the suitcase and rolled it inside after closing the door behind them.

“And I won’t freeze, it’s not that cold.”

“Tsukki… you are shivering.”

Tsukishima paused for a second and looked down to his body, the blond let out a single breathy “oh” like he had not noticed the cold until Kuroo pointed it out. The bed-headed man sighed loudly, concern was evident in his features but decided to ignore for a while the evidence of tears on his friend’s face and instead decided to do something about the shivering first.

“Warm up, we will talk later. Take a warm bath, you know where everything is. I´ll make some tea. Take your time.”

Tsukishima answered with a small nod and made his way to Kuroo’s bedroom, minutes later Kuroo heard the bathroom door close and the characteristic sound of running water.

He busied himself with the preparation of the tea, his mind raced through all the possibilities and probable outcomes for his friend. He had a fight with Satou, that much was obvious, but was it enough to leave Tsukki homeless? Was it that big that Tsukki could not wait until the next day to leave? Was it fixable? Was it permanent? The tears were of sadness? Or Anger? Frustration?

Kuroo did not want to admit those questions had the worst answers possible, by the looks of his blond friend it was most likely the worst-case scenario. A big nasty fight, permanent break up, tears of sadness, anger AND frustration.

Half an hour later Kuroo sat in his futon, a tray with two cups of steaming tea beside him. The door of his bedroom opened, and Tsukishima entered freshly showered dressed in an old t-shirt, which Kuroo recognized as an old training shirt, and pajama pants with dinosaur print.

“Thank you for your help, Kuroo-san. You really saved me this time.”

Kuroo waited until Tsukishima sat in the futon across from him and offered the blond a cup of tea.

“No problem Tsukki, that’s what friends are for. Now, what the hell happened?”

“Shin… Satou and I broke up, so I moved out.”

The bed-headed man stared into his golden eyes; the ex-captain scrutinized his face searching for any kind of hint. Tsukishima squirmed lightly under his gaze but didn´t tore apart his eyes. His face and voice were void of emotions, but Kuroo knew better, and Tsukki knew he knew. That didn´t stopped him to try anyways.

“I’m fine. It was for the better.”

“There is something you are not telling me.”

“There is nothing more to it, really. We split up; we move on. Just like that, fast and easy.”

Tsukishima finished his tea while Kuroo continued his analysis. Kei was definitely NOT fine. Everything was off. The fidgeting of his fingers, the constant biting of his lower lip, the slight trembling of his voice, the hint of sorrow in his golden eyes.

But the worst was the mask, it was back on. The last time he had seen it was several months back when their friendship was just starting to take shape. And it was unsettling, Kuroo’s heart ached on is chest, it was like being back to the beginning, back to being strangers.

The ex-captain set the empty cups aside and closed the distance to Tsukishima, his eyes full of understanding and warmth.

“Tsukki, you don´t have to tell me the details if you don’t want to but please, please, don´t shut me out. You don´t have to hide from me, you don´t have to pretend in front of me. I won´t judge you, I won´t hurt you, I care for you and want to help you through whatever this is. Please Tsukki, let me in.”

Kuroo saw the exact moment not only the mask shattered, but also the man behind it. Pieces fell to the ground one by one until the only thing left was the bare broken soul of his hurting friend.

Golden eyes filled with tears, the sorrow in them overflooding as salty liquid trailed down his cheeks. His fit body trembled under the force of violent sobs that filled the silence.

“Kuroo-san.”

The way his name was pronounced crushed his heart, the anguish in Tsukki’s voice reflected all the grief in his soul, it was a pained sound, broken. Kuroo did not have to think it twice, his body moved on his own, the ex-captain darted forward and wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s trembling frame.

He stayed silent, allowing his friend to let out everything he needed. There was no need for words anyway. He rocked him back and forth in a soothing motion and ignored the growing wetness on his shoulder.

Slowly, after what felt like forever, lean arms hugged him back.

TBC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you found this chapter entertaining in some way. Next one will be up next week.


	2. LITTLE THINGS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo helps Tsukishima to start moving forward again, and Tsukki gets caught between little things that makes him reflect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! 
> 
> Apologies, this chapter was supposed to come out last week but real life called, a deadline got moved and I found myself with extra work and less time to do it, so I couldn’t finish this on time. Fortunately, my stubbornness carried me forward and here we are again, a little late but here none the less. 
> 
> Thank you all for taking some of your time to read this story, I’m happy you found my writing entertaining in some form. I had a lot of fun experimenting with this so I hope you like this chapter too.
> 
> Please keep in mind English is not my first language so grammar and vocabulary crimes might be all over the place, please feel free to point them out and I will solve then immediately. 
> 
> Please enjoy and please comment, I would love to read your thoughts. 
> 
> I don’t own Haikyuu!! All rights belong to Furudate Haruichi-sensei.

**CHAPTER 2. LITTLE THINGS.**

Sunlight filtered through the gaps of the curtains, the warm rays of light brushed against his skin and lulled hazel eyes open to greet the Saturday morning. Kuroo stretched lazily in his futon and turned to his side, Tsukishima was still deep asleep in the futon next to his, the dried trails of last night´s tears were still visible along with the slight redness around his closed eyes.

The ex-captain stood from his place and silently made his way out of the bedroom, the door closed with a silent click behind him. The bed-headed man busied himself with breakfast while his mind replayed last night’s events over and over.

Tsukki cold and shivering in his doorstep, the blond’s efforts to conceal his heartache, the brief explanation rendered with robotic precision. Then the sobs as his friend wrapped his arms around him, long fingers curled impossibly tight against his back as Tsukki finally cried his heart out against his shoulder.

When the middle blocker finally had no more tears to shed the exhaustion was evident on his tear stained face. Both men decided it was best to rest up, let a night’s sleep to clear Tsukki’s head. They had all the time they needed to talk later, there was no rush.

Kuroo was brought out of his thoughts as a tall figure emerged through the kitchen door.

_He doesn´t look that bad, he could certainly look better, but it is not the worst._ His rational mind reassured him.

_He looks like shit._ His irrational side whispered on his ear.

He hated to admit his irrational side was the one he agreed with. His short hair pointed wildly to every direction; traces of exhaustion were evident in his posture. The evidence of tears was gone but the redness around his eyes was still visible, also, they were puffy making his golden eyes look smaller.

“Good morning, Tsukki.”

“Un.”

Kuroo raised an unimpressed eyebrow at the grunted response. “Did you sleep fine?”

“Yes.”

“Need a hug?”

“No.”

The ex-captain sighed heavily, monosyllabic Tsukki was never an easy Tsukki to deal with. He couldn’t blame him though, the day before proved to be absolute shit for his friend. He tried again.

“What would you like for breakfast?”

“Whatever.”

Multiple syllables, yay progress. Tsukki’s voice was raspy and raw but he could work with that. Feeling somewhat accomplished, Kuroo returned to breakfast preparations while Tsukishima sat silently at the table.

“How are you feeling?

“Puffy.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

The bed-headed man grinned, and a small chuckle passed his throat while his blond friend tried to glare him into submission. It didn´t work; if anything, it caused the ex-captain to turn into full laughter.

Breakfast was calm and silent but not uncomfortable, Kuroo wanted to ask Kei about what happened the day before but decided to let the blond man to take his time. Soon enough their plates were empty and instead a couple of mugs with coffee took their place.

Without a word Tsukishima took his phone from his pocket, pressed some buttons and handed it to Kuroo. The older student almost choked on his coffee at the sight of a photograph of who he recognized as Satou shamelessly kissing an unknown man.

“That… That fucking asshole! Piece of shit! How did he dare to…?! I’ll kill him, I’ll fucking kill him!”

Tsukki took back his phone and returned it to his pocket. The tall blond started to fidget with his mug to keep his hands busy, slowly he took a sip form his coffee.

“He had the nerve to try and say it was all a misunderstanding. He even tried to shift the blame into my team, said that it was a set up.”

Kuroo nodded in understanding. When Tsukki revealed his relationship with Satou to his team things went south with some teammates, as progressive as Japan could be in some aspects it still was pretty closed-minded in others, so when a few members of the team became hostile towards Kei it didn´t surprised him. He was disappointed, yes, but not surprised. Still, to try to cover an infidelity as a weird anti-gay conspiracy was too far-fetched.

“Who else knows about this? Who sent you the photo?”

Another sip of coffee. Apparently, coffee was the equivalent of “liquid courage” for Kei.

“Only you know. I’ll call Yamaguchi and Nii-chan later just to keep them on the loop. As for the sender… No one did. I… I wanted to celebrate with him, so I went to the coffee shop to get us some strawberry shortcake. I was pretty excited, you know. And I saw him there. I’m glad I took the picture though, it made things quicker later.”

Kuroo reached out his hand and took Tsukki’s, he squeezed it, firm yet gentle, to reassure his friend. A small smile formed on his lips when Kei squeezed back.

“I’m sorry Tsukki, you don´t deserve that kind of bullshit.”

The next minutes passed with Tsukishima recounting the whole incident since he arrived at the coffee shop, to his decision to leave and the confrontation he had with Satou. By the time he finished, Kuroo talked himself out of committing murder several times, instead, silently he promised to himself to help Tsukki through this, to help him trust again.

Silence fell once again, both finished their coffees with the reassuring presence of the other and proceeded to clean up the kitchen. As Kuroo rinsed off the plates his mind remembered something he meant to ask before.

“Wait, Tsukki. You said you were excited and wanted to celebrate. What do we need to celebrate?”

He watched in awe as a light shade of pink dusted his blond friend´s cheeks, golden eyes shone with excitement and a small smile pulled at his lips.

“Yesterday after practice Coach pulled me aside and informed me he had received a call in the morning. A second division pro team wants to scout me. Nothing is certain yet, I’ll have to go to tryouts and some interviews but… the offer is there.”

The plate fell from his hands and into the sink with a loud _clank_ , fortunately it wasn’t broken. Before Kuroo could stop himself, a loud laugh echoed through the apartment. The bed-headed man ran towards Tsukishima and shook his shoulders eagerly as a thread of “Congratulations”, “That´s so cool!”, “Good job”, “Amazing” and similar phrases mixed in with joyful laughter.

His hands were wet from the dishes and Tsukki´s shirt became damp from the grip but neither seemed to care. Kuroo was so happy for his friend, his heart roared with pride and excitement. And Kei just stood there, he left himself being shaken by his overly excited friend, his own heart beating too fast in his chest.

Kuroo broke into a million questions demanding details. The name of the team, the dates of tryouts, his team´s reactions, the number of interviews, what did he said, what did his coach said.

Tsukishima answered eagerly every single one of them.

A spark of hope shone as Kuroo watched his friend talk without barriers. Tsukki´s posture straightened slightly, his eyes showed his happiness, his voice vibrated with excitement.

Tsukishima Kei stood in front of him, raw and heartbroken; but also excited and hopeful. The damage Satou did was deep, but the blond was not broken, a little bruised and scratched but not broken. He had the proof of that right before his eyes.

Tsukishima Kei stood in front of him, grinning like an idiot.

***

“If I see him, I will serve his head like a volleyball so hard that even Ushiwaka would be proud.”

Kuroo paced furiously in an attempt to blow some steam before he actually tried to find Satou and commit a crime. His shoes squeaked loudly against the wooden floor of Akaashi’s university gym.

After his talk with Tsukishima during breakfast, Kuroo had to leave him to tend to his schedule, the bed-headed man wanted to cancel everything and stay beside his friend, but it wasn’t possible. Books needed to be returned to the library, a professor wanted to have a talk with him about his thesis and despite being a Saturday he had to attend his internship job in the Volleyball Association.

As soon as the ex-captain was done with all his appointments of the day he had contacted Bokuto and Akaashi, he needed reinforcements urgently. The three of them agreed to meet up and hit some balls as Kuroo vented to them.

“I’m with you, bro. You serve his head and I’ll spike it.”

To emphasize his point, Bokuto spiked a ball with all his strength after Akaashi tossed it to him, the ball slammed against the floor and the sound it made was deafening.

“You two need to calm down, to have to visit you in prison for murder is not going to help Tsukishima.”

“Akaashi! He deserves it!”

The ex-setter sighed heavily and tossed another ball for Bokuto, he couldn’t deny he was right though. Akaashi himself wanted nothing more than to jump-serve a ball right into Satou’s head.

“I know, but it is not what Tsukishima needs right now.”

The other two men finally stopped their anger-driven antics and decided to leave for the day, Bokuto and Kuroo started to pull down the net while Akaashi gathered all the scattered balls in the cart. 

“How is Tsukishima?” Akaashi asked as he dropped the last ball with the others, his voice low, almost a whisper. Kuroo sighed and passed his hands over his face and then brushed through his hair.

“Not great. I have never seen him that bad, not even during the whole fiasco with his team last year.”

“Worse than that? Really?”

Kuroo stopped rubbing his head, his hair returned to its natural rooster-like state. The bed-headed man understood his friend’s doubt, Tsukishima wasn’t exactly an emotional person, even Kuroo had been surprised by the emotional outburst the night before.

“Sorry man, you have no idea how awful last night was. Sobs, tears, snot. The whole package. Just shows how deeply Tsukki cared for him and how deeply that bastard hurt him.”

“It makes sense, actually.” Akaashi stared at his shoes, not willing to meet his friend’s eyes and witness the worry and hurt in them. “With his team’s situation he expected a few negative reactions from the beginning, it cut some relationships and bruised his confidence. Satou, on the other hand, completely broke his trust in others.”

The three men left out a collective sigh, their anger retreated to the back of their minds and worry took its place. They continued to prepare their things to leave in silence, neither knowing exactly what to do to help their friend.

“Can I ask you something?”

Bokuto and Akaashi stopped in their tracks and turned to face Kuroo, the ex-captain rubbed the back of his head with his eyes glued to floor. Akaashi walked forward and stood right in front of him, forcing the bed-headed man to face him.

“You don´t have to ask, Kuroo-san. We will help Tsukishima with whatever is needed.”

“Yeah, man! Just tell us what you need, and we will make it happen.”

A wide grin made its way in Kuroo’s face. He had great friends, that was certain. After a round of back slaps and laughter, Kuroo agreed to text them the details later, he needed to check on Tsukki first. The three men separated ways shortly after, Bokuto and Akaashi walked back to their apartment while Kuroo got in the train to get back to his. He had a planned stop before that, though.

Kuroo was greeted by silence when he opened his door and entered his apartment. He focused on any sound as he slipped out of his shoes in the genkan but didn´t heard anything. The ex-captain decided to call out.

“Tsukki, I’m home.”

Silence. Complete and absolute silence. A low curse left his lips as the idea of his blond friend leaving without telling him crossed his mind. That morning they agreed to live together until Tsukki found a new place and the blond running away wasn’t part of the plan. The bed-headed man made his way towards and living room and froze in place, his heart slowed back down at the sight of his friend.

Tsukki sat cross-legged before the low table, his head propped up by his hands, eyes closed and his headphones blasting some music into his ears. A new grin appeared in the bed-headed man’s face, he approached the unaware man and gently tapped his headphones to get his attention.

Tsukishima startled and immediately pushed his headphones down to his neck.

“Oh, welcome back, Kuroo-san.”

“I’m home, Tsukki.” Kuroo repeated his greeting still with the grin on display. He studied his friend’s face again and didn´t liked what he found. Dark circles began to appear below his eyes, his brows remained burrowed slightly, his golden orbs maintained a deep sorrow in them. “Please tell me you haven’t been moping around in my living room all day.”

“I do not mope around.”

The bed-headed man tilted his head to the side and grunted in response, a raised eyebrow combined with a challenging glare met Tsukki’s eyes. Even if the blond did not like it, Kuroo could read him like a book.

“I called Yamaguchi and Nii-chan. I didn´t gave them all the details, just told them we broke up and that I am staying with you until I find a new place.”

Kuroo nodded sharply in approval, satisfied with the answer. It was a wise and sensible decision; both were aware that if Yamaguchi and Kei’s brother knew the entirety of the situation there was no stopping them from coming to Tokyo in the first train they could find.

“What else have you been up to? You know you can use whatever you need without asking.”

The blond stayed silent and fidgeted with his fingers while avoiding Kuroo’s gaze. _So, you do have been moping all day._ The silence stretched for various seconds until Tsukishima succumbed to the pressure.

“I… I just don’t feel like… moving.”

Kuroo sighed heavily and shook his head in mock exasperation, he knew that would happen, if he was being honest with himself he was proud Tsukki decided to mope in the living room instead of burying himself in the futon and hibernate for days on end. At least his friend was somewhat functional, in suspension mode but not completely shut off. Maybe he could charge him enough to reach low-battery mode soon.

“Well, aren’t you lucky today? I have a surprise for you, and it does not include movement on your end.”

The ex-captain placed a small cardboard box on the table, the small cake-shaped accents on the box gave away its content. Tsukki immediately perked up and opened the box, his lips turned into a small smile as his eyes landed on the two slices of strawberry shortcake inside.

“I… I thought we need to have a proper celebration for you.” Kuroo stroked the back of his head sheepishly, a soft smile found its way to his lips too. “You know, for being recruited by a pro team, that’s… that’s amazing. I’m proud of you, Tsukki.”

The rest of their night went well, both men ate in silence, once again enjoying the presence of the other with out the need of words. But Kuroo knew it was a step in the right direction, to anyone it was not clear but for him it was more than obvious. The small smile in Tsukki’s lips as he took a piece with his fork, the quiet hums in appreciation with each bite, the glow in his eyes after the flavor melted away in his tongue. It was just a slice of shortcake, it was just a small gesture from a friend, but it also was what Tsukki needed at the moment.

Quiet and subtle, but none the less caring.

Just like Tsukki.

Sunday morning greeted him earlier than usual, but he did not care. Kuroo was actually looking forward to it since he had spent a couple of hours the night before to plan everything. As soon as Kei had fallen asleep, Kuroo pulled out his phone and researched everything he needed, after he was certain the schedule would work he sent Akaashi a text with the plan and then fell asleep with a mischievous grin on his face.

Kuroo left the bedroom careful to not wake the sleeping blond up and made his way to the kitchen. The characteristic clatter of pans and pots flooded the space as the bed-headed man moved with ease and breakfast started to take shape.

Forty minutes later Kuroo walked quietly back to the bedroom, the sight of his peacefully sleeping friend made a new shy smile appear on his lips. Quietly, he crouched beside the blond and took a couple of seconds to take in the sight. The deep even breaths, the way the blond lashes brushed against his skin, the slight blush on his cheeks, the relaxed expression of his face, the warm hand that rested outside the covers right beside his head.

Kei looked better than the day before.

Satisfied with his initial inspection, Kuroo reached out and started to trace gentle circles on the stray hand while he whispered for the blond to wake up.

“Tsukki, wake up man. We have a lot to do today. Come on, time to wake up.”

Slowly, golden eyes blinked open and stared at him sleepily. Blond brows furrowed in confusion as the bed-headed man continued to whisper to him and the gentle circles on Tsukki’s hand transformed into gentle pocking.

“Mnneeggghh” Was the first thing Kei said, followed by low groan. Then the blond hid his hand under the covers and buried his face into the pillow.

Loud laughter echoed in the room as Kuroo let loose his hyena cackle, after some minutes he finally recovered his breath and resumed his attempts to drag Kei out of the futon. The whispers were thrown out of the equation, instead Kuroo opted to speak normally, also, he changed from pocking hands to pocking cheeks.

“Come on, man. It is not that early. Hurry, I don’t want to mess up the schedule.”

“Whvt schfeldl?”

“What? Repeat that, please. Preferably without the pillow accent.”

The blond bundle moved under the covers and left out a new series of groans. Finally, the blankets slid down the tall body that sat up, Tsukki sighed in defeat and accepted his glasses from Kuroo.

“What schedule?”

“Ours.” Kuroo answered simply. “Now, up! Move those muscles, skinny legs.”

Kuroo then proceeded to drag him out the futon and out of the room. The bed-headed man clasped his hand tightly around Tsukki’s to avoid any strategical retreat and guided him to the living room where breakfast already waited form them along side two steaming cups of freshly made coffee.

“I just forgive you because your coffee is good, and I see strawberries.”

Kuroo flashed him a big grin and a small chuckle.

Once breakfast was gone the ex-captain commanded his friend to change and pushed him out of the door and into the busy Tokyo metro system. All the way Tsukishima made several attempts to get the sneaky man to tell him their destination, but Kuroo stood his ground and dodged every question. _No, I’m not telling you. No, I’m not an axe murderer. No, I’m not kidnapping you. No, you can’t leave. Ok, yes, maybe I’m kidnapping you, but you will love it, trust me._ Soon enough, the blond decided it was easier to just follow along and save himself from the inevitable persecution if he tried to escape.

Almost an hour and several connections later, both men stood in front of a giant whale sculpture.

“You… you brought me to the National Museum of Nature and Science? Why?”

“Yeah! They have dinosaurs! Come on, let’s go!”

As if dinosaurs were enough explanation, Kuroo pushed Tsukishima towards the entrance of the museum. And if he felt Tsukki gave him less resistance he said nothing about it.

The museum was quiet, despite the amount of people enjoying the exhibitions it was easy to ignore the whispers. Tsukishima wandered at his own pace, stopping from time to time to read about something that caught his eye or to admire a little more what was displayed behind the crystals. Kuroo stayed close but didn’t crowded him, instead the ex-captain gave him space to move freely and enjoy de museum, of course Kuroo was enjoying the exhibitions too but his main focus was on his friend’s comfort.

That was until a certain something appeared in his field of vision, Kuroo wandered a little farther and as he entered a new gallery his eyes widened, and a big grin covered his face. The bed-headed man made his way back to Tsukki and without any warning took his hand and guided him towards the next room.

“Tsukki! A triceratops!”

A couple of hours later both men exited the museum, Kuroo still sported a wide grin, he was proud of himself, the museum had been a great idea. The bed-headed man glanced again towards his blond friend, Tsukki stood a little taller than the day before, his eyes sparkled with content and the slight pull on the corner of his lips gave away his enjoyment.

Dinosaurs-1, shitty ex-0.

But their trip didn’t end there, to Tsukishima’s dismay. Once again, the ex-captain dragged him through busy streets, packed trains and noisy alleys until they reached their new destination.

Unfortunately, there were no more dinosaurs on the mix. Fortunately, there was food. And with how little Tsukishima ate on a daily basis, it was a good thing the food was good.

Kuroo guided him to a small but cozy restaurant hidden in the back of an alley, inside were few customers and the place was quiet, except for the jazz songs coming from the speakers around the shop. Much to Tsukishima’s shook, Kuroo ordered the food for both of them and soon enough two plates of grilled mackerel appeared in front of them. Kei raised and eyebrow at the food before him but offered no more comments when his eyes met the confident gaze of his friend.

To Kuroo’s surprise, Tsukki’s plate was completely empty when they were done.

“Now, Tsukki. We came here for two things.” Kuroo raised his hand and hold one finger up. “I am here for the main dish. YOU are here, for the dessert.”

As on cue, a waitress appeared and placed in the table their order. Kei was greeted with a slice of green cheesecake and a pink drink.

“Matcha cheesecake, pretty good in my opinion. BUT, the spotlight is actually for that pink thingy. Strawberry iced tea latte, you will not taste something like that anywhere else. Made with real strawberries, not synthetic syrup.”

Kei raised an unimpressed eyebrow and eyed the pink beverage skeptically, then long fingers grabbed the cup and the blond took a tentative sip of his drink. Kuroo couldn’t help but grin again as blond eyebrows shot up in amusement and golden eyes widened in surprise. Tsukki tried to hide his growing smile behind his cup.

Strawberries-1, shitty ex-0.

But their trip didn’t end there, to Tsukishima’s dismay… again. _Just one more stop, Tsukki._ He said. _You will enjoy it._ He said. And that was how Tsukishima found himself in front of an open public volleyball court.

“Hey! Tsukki! Hey!”

Loud and warm, that voice was unmistakable no matter where they were. Kuroo and Tsukishima turned to greet the owner of that voice and the calm and quiet friend behind him. Bokuto waved his arms in the air wildly while Akaashi waved shyly a hand behind him.

Greetings were exchanged, hugs were given and soon enough the four men fell into an easy conversation catching up with their lives from the last couple of weeks. There was no rush, no pressure, no need to pretend, they were just four friends sharing their lives. They spent almost half an hour standing in the same spot just chatting until Kuroo gently nudged Kei.

“Don’t you have very exiting news to share with them, Tsukki?”

Bokuto and Akaashi glanced at him with curiosity as a light shade of pink dusted Kei’s cheeks. The blond avoided eye contact and started fidgeting with his fingers, a tight smile appeared on his lips.

As expected, the ex-owl’s reactions to the announcement of his recruitment in a pro team were effusive. Akaashi congratulated him profusely while Bokuto squeezed the life out of him in a tight hug and proceeded to spin him around like some sort of oversized rag doll. Laughter and exclamations of joy filled the air, by the time Tsukki was free to breathe again the four of them vibrated in excitement.

With their energy levels off the charts none of them objected when Bokuto took out a volleyball from his bag and they walked towards an empty court. They decided on a friendly two-on-two match, Tsukki and Kuroo vs Bokuto and Akaashi. Except the friendly part flew out the window after the first serve and soon enough their natural competitiveness took charge. Full force serves, killer spikes, deadly blocks, none were holding back, even Akaashi showed his fangs and matched Bokuto’s force.

Despite the intensity of the game Kuroo sported his signature Cheshire grin as their blocks killed their rival’s spikes, Akaashi’s lips tugged lightly on the corners in a tight smile as he continued to toss perfect balls and Bokuto’s laughter echoed through the court and filled their bodies with warmth.

Bokuto spiked again and the ball was blocked by Tsukki’s hand, Akaashi dived to save it but the sound of the ball slamming against the floor signaled the end of their game. Tsukki and Kuroo won.

The bed-headed man raised his arms in victory as the blond celebrated quietly, then approached Tsukishima and both men smacked hands.

The wide smile on Tsukki’s face did not go unnoticed. 

***

Tsukishima inhaled deeply and allowed the rich fragrance of freshly made coffee to flood his nostrils. As expected, Kuroo always kept good quality coffee available in the kitchen and the blond appreciated the fact that he could prepare himself a good cup of the warm beverage any time he felt like it.

Once again, Tsukishima caught himself smiling, it was small and rather shy but a smile none the less. Despite the crushing oppression still present in his chest the blond had realized that his lips moved on its own an awful lot.

_It’s ok to be happy_. His rational mind reminded him.

_Stupid lips that do whatever they want, there is no motive to be happy right now._ His irrational mind screamed.

But even if he wanted nothing but agree with his irrational side, he knew that there were motives to be happy. He had been living with Kuroo for two weeks and during that time little things slipped discreetly during his days and gave him small moments of comfort and warmth.

Like that time last Monday when Kuroo rushed down the street still in his pajamas to hand Tsukki a book the blond forgot in the table. Or that Jurassic Park marathon (popcorn included) they had that same night. His personal favorite was, however, a daily occurrence; breakfast together became a habit since day one with the first one to wake up taking charge of the kitchen and the menu. Kuroo preferred traditional Japanese like tamagoyaki and miso, Kei preferred sweet things like pancakes and oatmeal with tons of fruit.

And that was exactly the reason why Kei cooked rice in the mornings he was up first and then was pleasantly surprised with waffles when he slept in.

The food was not the reason of his liking of this new habit, though. It was the company. Kuroo didn´t push, Kuroo didn´t demand, Kuroo understood his demeanor and fell in a comfortable silence or offered a nice conversation, whatever felt nice. The presence of the other was the only thing they needed. Granted, sometimes they did chat like normal humans, but they didn’t feel like they HAD to. It was refreshing.

Then, when it was time for one of them to leave the apartment, they would exchange goodbye waves and a quiet _“Take care”_ or _“Have a nice day”._

Kei wrapped both of his hands around his mug and enjoyed the warmth that traveled all the way to his fingers as a light sigh left his lips. He made his way to the empty living room and sat before the low table, careful to not disturb the always changing pile of books above it. Only Kuroo knew how he could find the information he needed in that mess.

A red cover grabbed his attention and Tsukishima recognized the book as the one he helped Kuroo find in the library that Wednesday. This time the blond didn’t shy away from the smile that formed on his lips when he remembered the sight on that very same table just the day before. Tsukki had emerged from the bathroom only to find a deeply asleep Kuroo over that red book, the light of the laptop screen before his sleeping form illuminated his relaxed factions. Kei walked to the bedroom and returned with a blanket which he draped over the bed-headed man’s shoulders and just as he turned to leave a weird impulse took over him and very carefully brushed his hand through the roster-like hair.

_It’s soft! Who would have thought?_ His irrational side crooned.

_Yes, it’s nice._ His rational side agreed.

A deep blush tinted his cheeks from the memory. _Stupid hands that move on their own._ He took another sip from his coffee and blamed the steam of the beverage for the heat on his face.

Of course, it was the coffee, not that stupid hair, or that stupid grin, definitely not that stupid considerate personality. Nope, none of that. It was not because of the way those stupid fingers would tap gently his headphones to grab his attention and then proceed to pinch his cheeks until Kei bated the stupid hand away. No, it could not be.

Could it?

_It feels like it is, indeed, because of the stupid man._ His irrational and rational side provided in unison.

Kei took off his glasses and pinched his nose as a heavy sigh made his way out of his lungs. _Think rationally, don’t let your emotions betray you._ He placed his glasses back and took another sip of coffee, a determined look on his face as he started to sort the situation in his head.

Fact: Satou’s betrayal still hurt, deeply.

Fact: Kuroo made him happy, deeply.

Fact: His heart was still completely broken, the oppression on his chest a constant reminder of the piece of his being that was ripped out merciless.

Fact: Kuroo’s kindness warmed his soul and made him feel safe.

Fact: The thought of Satou made his blood turn cold and a painful knot formed in his stomach.

Fact: The thought of Kuroo made his heart skip a beat and a pleasant feeling of anticipation vibrated through his whole body.

An exasperated grunt echoed through the empty room and Tsukishima fought the impulse to smack his head against the table. _I’m screwed._

He was lost, how do people deal with emotions? It’s complicated, frustrating and above all exhausting. How was he supposed to sort out his internal turmoil without imploding? Truth was, for the first time in a long, long time Tsukishima had absolutely no idea on how to procced, he was used to always follow the rational path but at the moment he couldn’t see a rational path.

How could he figure out if his feeling towards Kuroo were genuine? The last thing the blond wanted was to unconsciously use Kuroo as a replacement for his failed relationship or as a band-aid for his broken heart.

_It wouldn’t be fair._

Kuroo didn’t deserve a half-assed love, or a half-assed relationship. That would only lead to pain on both ends.

Tsukki took the final sip of his coffee and placed the empty mug back on the table, a new wave of determination flowed through his veins. He would wait. Only time could properly help heal his wounded soul and only time could tell if his feelings for the ex-captain remained after the heartbreak was gone.

Kei would wait, as long as it took.

_Kuroo deserves that much._

His sudden epiphany was interrupted by the characteristic sound of the apartment door opening and soon enough the gentle sound of Kuroo’s musky voice greeted him from the genkan.

The eternal bed-head entered the living room and sat beside Tsukishima as a new set of books joined the pile on the table.

“You are back earlier than always. Your boss took pity of his slave and let you go early?”

A hyena cackle burst through the space.

“No, I wish. The association is holding an event so my boss kicked all the interns out for the day. Not that I am complaining, I haven’t had a free Saturday in months. How was your day, Tsukki? Anything interesting?”

“Not at all. I went to a clinic to get tested for STD’s. I was always careful, but I don’t want to risk it, I don’t know if Satou was careful with… his other partner. The clinic will call in a few days with the results.”

The bed-headed man pursed his lips in a tight line, his hand immediately went to Tsukki’s back and started rubbing circles above the fabric. Kei allowed himself to relax at the touch.

“That sucks man, but better safe than sorry.”

“Yeah. Speaking of the devil, I was thinking… I’ve been here for two weeks and half of my stuff is still in his apartment. I’ll go get it.”

Kuroo stopped the movement of his hand and moved it to grasp his friend’s shoulder with a gentle squeeze.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No. Thank you, though. He should be in his part-time job for at least another three hours, so I won´t see him, and… I think I should do this alone. I’ll just grab my things, leave the key and get out of there for good.”

“Ok, just remember to call if you need anything. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

Kei’s heart swelled in his chest and a warm feeling spread through his body. He returned his friend’s good will with a small smile and a heartfelt thank you. Ten minutes later, Tsukishima and an empty suitcase exited Kuroo’s apartment towards Satou’s.

The train ride passed in a blur and before he could think about it Tsukki stood in front of Satou’s apartment door with the key in his hand. _Stupid hand that moves on its own!_ He cursed as the key trembled in his hold. His feet seemed to be glued to the floor too, since he couldn’t take a step forward either. After a couple of deep breaths, the concrete agreed to free his shoes and his hand stabilized enough to insert the key in the keyhole.

Tsukishima Kei entered the place he called home for a year with his shoulders hunched, his eyes glued to the floor and overall attempting to be as small as possible.

A breath he didn’t realize he was holding left his lips as he saw no shoes on the genkan. Good, Satou wasn’t home, just as planned.

The blond made his way through the tiny apartment directly to the bedroom, he kept his shoes on, Satou still didn’t deserve proper house etiquette. Tsukki found his stuff exactly where he left it, his ex hadn’t moved anything.

It made sense, since the cheating man had called Kei every day since their breakup and when he realized Kei was not going to answer resorted to text him multiple times a day, his messages a mixture of blaming Kei for leaving and begging for forgiveness, all coated with a thick layer of I love you, I need you, I’m waiting for you.

Without missing a second, Tsukishima opened the empty suitcase and started to throw his things inside. The rest of his clothes and shoes, books, notes, dinosaur figurines. Miraculously everything fitted inside, a little too crushed, but it fitted. He purposely left behind the photos of the two of them, along with the memories of their trips to the beach, the scent of Satou’s shampoo and the ghost feeling of his touch. Despite that, the suitcase felt incredibly heavy.

The finality of the situation weighed him down on his way towards the exit.

Over a year of memories, experiences and love… gone. Like dust in the wind. Meaningless.

The sound of a key and a door opening made him stop in his tracks in the middle of the common space, like a deja-vu, surprised brown eyes stared at him from the genkan. _Why can’t I have things my way for once, universe?_ It was just his luck… again.

Satou Shinji stood in front of him, the expression of surprise replaced in a flash by a wide smile and teary eyes.

“Kei! You are back!”

TBC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I won’t give a release date because professional deadlines are a thing, but know the final chapter is on the oven.


	3. RIGHT HAND

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima has a confrontation with Satou that leads to the answers he is looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! 
> 
> Finally, the last chapter is done. Thank you so much for joining me through this story, I had a lot of fun during this experiment and the fact that you found this entertaining and spent some of your time reading it means a lot to me. A thousand thank you to you all. 
> 
> Please enjoy this last chapter, I hope is of your liking too.
> 
> Please keep in mind English is not my first language so grammar and vocabulary crimes might be all over the place, please feel free to point them out and I will solve them immediately. 
> 
> Please enjoy and please comment, I would love to read your thoughts. 
> 
> I don’t own Haikyuu!! All rights belong to Furudate Haruichi-sensei.

**CHAPTER 3. RIGHT HAND.**

_Why on earth does the universe hate me?_

Tsukishima couldn’t help but wonder why everything refused to go as planed as he stared at his ex-boyfriend’s bright smile and glassy looking eyes.

“Kei! You are back!”

His grip on the suitcase tightened. _I know I’m an asshole, but this is too much to be karma._ Tsukki was silently grateful for all the years he spent perfecting his poker face, only few people knew how to see past it since it came naturally after a literal decade of practice. A cold void settled in his stomach as he realized that despite the year long relationship, Satou was never one of those few.

A slow composed breath made its way to his lungs, there was no time to panic, or cry, even less for both. The blond covered his poker face behind his mask of fake confidence and uninterest, careful to not cut himself from the falling shards he desperately tried to keep together. Not that Satou would notice the missing pieces, he never did. Kei stayed with his shoulders hunched and his free hand fidgeted anxiously with the hem of his hoodie.

“I’m actually heading out.”

Tsukishima cheered for himself inside his mind, that monotone voice he pulled off was pretty convincing, not a single trace of trembling or hesitation was audible. He took advantage of the slight burst of confidence and fished the apartment’s key from his pocket, then placed it unceremoniously on the table beside him. Satou’s eyes widened at the sight and his smile faltered after realization clicked in place.

Kei always thought his reflexes were excellent, not Nishinoya-san level of excellent but close, nothing to scoff at, so when he found himself being hugged tightly by Satou he knew he was far more off game than he had realized.

“Nonsense, Kei! You belong here, with me.” Satou released the hug after another squeeze and placed his hands on Tsukishima’s shoulders, the blond could feel the grip, strong enough to be uncomfortable but not enough to hurt. “Let’s patch everything up, stay with me, Kei.”

“You can’t ‘patch up’ an infidelity. We are obviously not in the same page, I’m not staying.”

He tried to brush off Satou’s hands and push forward towards the door, but his ex-boyfriend had none of it. Kei felt how Satou’s grip on his shoulders tightened to something slightly painful while the man kept his body in front of Kei’s, right between him and the door.

“Please, Kei! Let me explain! It was just a little slide, just a mistake, just…”

Tsukishima suppressed a growl, his fear and hurt were pushed back and instead boiling anger took their place. _Don’t even try that._ Satou betrayed him, then hid it, then lied about it, now he tried to minimize it and brush it off.

As if Kei’s feelings were not valid, as if Kei’s heartbreak was nothing but an exaggeration.

“What? You just slipped and fell on his dick? Don’t be ridiculous.” Kei snarled; his eyes shot daggers at the man before him as he internally talked himself out of committing murder. “You CHOSE to cheat, that’s not a mistake, it’s a decision. You CHOSE to betray my trust, you CHOSE to hide it for who knows how long, you CHOSE to lie to me about it when I found out, you CHOSE all of it. It’s called a fuck up, now own it and leave me alone. And stop calling me Kei, its Tsukishima.”

Satou’s grip loosened slightly and Kei took the opportunity to shake his hands away, his ex still blocked his way to the door but at least his shoulders were free. Satou’s fingers had felt like fire against skin, even above the fabric of his clothes.

“No, Kei! Please! I love you!”

It took everything in Tsukishima to not push Satou to the ground. _You never loved me._ His boiling blood rushed through his veins, but the blond managed to keep his mask in place. His grip on the suitcase tightened to the point where his knuckles went completely white and his voice dropped to a hiss, still clear but it gave away his displeasure. 

“No, you don’t.”

“You don’t know how I feel!”

Kei had enough. _Grab things, drop the key, leave._ Kei reminded himself, a screaming match was not part of his schedule. Using his height to his advantage, Tsukishima towered over Satou and managed to push past him, his eyes set on the door in front of him.

Fire spread again through his skin, his right wrist burned at Satou’s touch as the smaller man gripped it tight, successfully stopping Tsukishima on his way out. He tried to yank it out but Satou tightened his own hand instead.

“No! You can’t leave! Look, I’m sorry for lying but I promise it wasn’t anything serious.”

“Let go of my hand!”

Satou’s hand tightened again and pulled Kei towards him in an attempt to get him away from the door. The heat in his wrist was replaced by a small pang of pain at the sudden movement.

“NO! This is all your fault! I have needs, Kei. Needs that you and your closed-up personality can´t meet!” Apparently, Satou had a list on his mind of everything Tsukishima messed up for him, from not being up to intimacy as much as him, to being too quiet all the time, _You are too cold, you don’t care, you don’t give a fuck_. “If you had just tried and actually put an effort for me then nothing would have happened.”

Kei had expected to being blamed at some point, but he never expected to be punched in the face with his biggest insecurities. _I wasn’t enough._ Pieces of his mask started to crash on the floor, he was unable to keep them together any longer.

He knew his personality was hard to deal with, he kept to himself, he was salty, sometimes rude, he wasn’t one for physical attention, hugs and kisses were scarce and that translated to the bedroom too. He feared the day his loved ones would have enough of him and leave for good, that they would decide he wasn´t worth the effort. Satou just confirmed it. _I am not enough._

“You already found someone who does all that.” His voice came as a breathless whisper, the blond no longer had the energy to try and pretend. His voice wobbled and his left hand let go of the heavy suitcase.

“But I still love you, Kei. Despite all that. If you leave me now, who will want you?”

Kei’s blood froze in his veins, that painful void returned to his stomach as his soul ached ten timed fold. His heart was ripped once again from his chest and stomped over, beside the last shard of his completely crumbled mask. _Who would want me?_

“You are the one I love, Kei. Only you. Stay with me.”

His words were kind and soft, a complete contrast from the actions that accompanied them. The grip on Kei’s hand tightened even more and Satou started to twist it, slowly but firmly. It was painful and it would definitely leave a bruise.

Pain flooded his mind and Tsukishima could only focus on his right hand. _It hurts, let go._ His inner turmoil was drowned down by the feeling of his limb under the excruciating pressure, the physical pain overriding the emotional. Whatever Satou was saying reached his ears muffled and indistinguishable, his golden eyes focused only on the place where their skin met in that painful grip, the rest of the world didn’t exist. Just his right hand, trapped and in pain.

His right hand.

His right hand, that batted away Kuroo’s after he pinched his cheeks.

His right hand, that brushed through Kuroo’s incredibly soft hair while he slept.

His right hand, that waved goodbye to Kuroo in the mornings for two weeks straight.

His right hand, that received the forgotten book from a Kuroo still in pajamas.

His right hand, that smacked Kuroo’s after they won their friendly match.

His right hand, that was pulled by Kuroo to guide him to go see the triceratops.

His right hand, that was dragged by Kuroo to go eat breakfast.

His right hand, that felt the soft and gentle circles traced by Kuroo to wake him up.

His right hand, that was engulfed in warmth and care when Kuroo squeezed it, so gently yet firm, in support after he told him what happened with Satou.

And everything clicked in place. The voice of his insecurities fell completely silent, leaving him with the rational information he failed to see earlier and the confidence he no longer had to pretend.

He knew his personality was hard to deal with, _but it’s not impossible, Yamaguchi is still here after a literal decade._ He kept to himself, _I’m a private person and that’s ok._ He was salty, _it’s part of my charm._ Sometimes rude, _only to the ones who deserve it._ He wasn’t one for physical attention, _but I prove my love through other ways._ Hugs and kisses were scarce, _but each one of them meant everything to me._ And that translated to the bedroom too, _each intimate act carried the entirety of my feelings._ Also, the “scarce” part was completely subjective, Kei did enjoy a good cuddle session and some steamy rounds, it was Satou who was a horny bunny.

His loved ones would not leave, he was worth the effort. And Kuroo confirmed it. _I am enough._

If he wasn’t enough then why Kuroo opened his apartment for him? Why Kuroo went out of his way to plan complete days for him to enjoy? Why Kuroo cooked him his favorites foods when he was feeling down? Why Kuroo offered him warmth when his soul was freezing?

The answer was simple and logical. He was enough. If not for Satou, he surely was for others. Yamaguchi, Kuroo, his brother, Bokuto, Akaashi, even Hinata and Kageyama.

They would want him.

The pain on his wrist brought him back to reality, Satou kept saying something but he couldn’t hear him clearly. His focus remained on the bruising pressure on his right hand, the one that have experienced so many beautiful moments alongside the people that deserved his love.

And Satou was not one of them anymore.

Anger resurfaced as pain was replaced with disgust, that hand clutching his wrist shouldn’t be there. Kei shouldn’t be there where a man who proclaimed void promises of eternal love bruised his skin.

_I want to go home._ And that apartment wasn’t home anymore. Satou wasn’t home anymore. _I want to go to Kuroo._

_“Stand your ground, Tsukki.”_ The Yamaguchi in his head whispered discreetly.

_“Move those muscles, skinny legs!”_ The Kuroo in his head screamed demanding attention.

It was like a fog cleared out of his mind, a fog he hadn’t noticed was there since he entered the apartment. With his brain now functioning how it was supposed to, Kei felt his body finally respond to him, he could move it at will again.

And those soon-to-be professional grade muscles were nothing to scoff at. With all the strength he could muster, Kei snatched back his hand out of Satou’s grasp. The smaller man was clearly not expecting that display of pure athlete strength and wobbled on his feet as the force of the movement got him off balance until he ultimately lost his footing and succumbed to gravity.

“You are not sorry; you are only sorry you got caught.” Kei glared at him from his spot above him, his golden eyes hard and unwavering. “If you genuinely cared about me, then you would have never cheated on me. It’s as easy as that.”

Satou twisted from his place in the ground and tried to get up, only to freeze on his place at the renovated deadly glare he received from the blond. _Stand your ground._ The Yamaguchi in his head reminded him.

“Engrave this in your skull, I’m not coming back.” Tsukishima straightened to his full height and set his shoulders straight, no trace of insecurity in his stance. “I know my worth… and you are not worth it.”

His left hand found its way back to the suitcase handle as Kei turned on his heels and walked the few meters left towards the door leaving a frozen and silent Satou in the floor.

As his suitcase rolled behind him the memories of their last date fell out from the front pocket, so did the vibrations of their joint laughter as well as the echoes of all the times he said _I love you_.

Tsukishima Kei walked through the door with firm steps and his head held high. The suitcase in his hand light as a feather. 

As soon as the door closed softly behind him, his brain started to work towards the next goal on the list.

_1.- Retrieve things from Satou’s apartment – done._

_2\. -Drop the key – done._

_3\. -Leave quietly and unnoticed – aborted._

_3.1 .-Avoid confrontation and get out as quick as possible – aborted._

_3.2 .-Glare Satou into submission and conquer the fight – done._

_4\. -Go back to Kuroo – in process._

The train ride back to Kuroo’s apartment was quick and uneventful, he zoned out almost the entirety of the ride as his mind wandered away from reality and into crazy bed hair and obnoxious laughter.

His hand didn’t tremble as he opened the door of the apartment with his suitcase in tow, silence greeted him, but it didn’t feel cold or empty. After leaving his shoes in the genkan, Tsukishima rolled his suitcase to the living room where a weird sight waited for him.

Kuroo sat crossed legged in front of the low table, one of his knees bounced anxiously over and over while he nervously bit the nails of one of his hands, the other resting in the non-bouncing knee. The man had all his focus on his phone above the table, glaring at the device with a passion. Waiting.

“Kuroo-san, I’m back.”

Kuroo left out a quiet squeak that Tsukishima decided to remind him of later. The bed-headed man stood up immediately and crossed the distance that separated them with long steps, then he engulfed Tsukki in a hug. A couple of seconds later the man let go abruptly with a light tint of pink in his cheeks.

“Sorry about that, I… just was a little worried.” Kuroo cleared his throat and averted his gaze away from the blond, he took the suitcase and rolled it into the living room, then he sat again before the low table and signaled Tsukki to sit with him as he returned his phone to his pocket. “Anyways, how did it go? Any problems? You stuff was ok? Do I need to call Bo and set up a murder?”

Tsukishima chuckled softly; a small smile tugged at his lips at his friend’s antics. _I’m back._ The blond sat beside his friend, careful to not jostle the table with his knees while his hand took his glasses away from his face to clean the smudges from the lenses. He was about to answer with _Satou was there, but it went ok in the end_ until Kuroo’s hand grabbed softly his own as he placed his glasses back on his face.

The bed headed man gently pulled his hand closer, a storm formed in his eyes as he examined the skin before him.

It was his right hand, the skin around his wrist red and irritated, a bruise already blooming, pale purple clearly visible against his milky complexion.

“What happened?” Kuroo’s voice was deep and low, the hint of anger and criminal intent made Tsukishima’s spine shiver.

“Satou came in when I was on my way out…” Kei proceeded to tell everything that happened to his friend, he knew better than to try and lie to the man. When he was done, the blond waited for his friend’s response, but the man stood up and left the room with an unreadable expression on his face.

Kei stayed in his spot, confused and unsure of what to do. _Should I follow him? Should I wait? Should I call Akaashi and recruit his help to calm him down and prevent a murder?_ He did not had time to reach a satisfactory answer when Kuroo returned to his side, a first aid kit in his hands.

His touch was gentle, a complete contrast to Satou’s earlier harshness. Every brush against his skin felt like warm feathers as Kuroo tended to his injury. He supported his hand with his own with great care to not move it too much, he spread an ointment in the bruise with warm fingers and soft touches.

“I should have gone with you… I should have insisted on going…” Kuroo grumbled his guilt as he wrapped the wrist with firm bandages and tender movements. “I should have been there to stop him from hurting you…”

Kei placed his free uninjured hand softly on Kuroo’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, the bed-headed man stopped his rambling and lifted his gaze to face Kei’s.

“It’s not your fault.” Tsukishima spoke with confidence and resolution; his tone left no place for arguments. “I needed to do it on my own. Besides, I’m ok. It doesn’t hurt that much, and the bruising will be gone in a couple of days.”

“I’m still going to punch him when I see him.”

“Please don’t, he is not worth it. And I’m certain he will not bother me again, and I’m sure he is smart enough to avoid you if he wants to remain in one piece.”

Kuroo released a sigh and scratched the back of his head sheepishly as his eyes wandered away from Tsukki’s, after a couple of seconds the man took some deep breaths and surrendered his will with a small grin on his lips.

“Fine. But if he tries something, I will punch him, no matter what you say.”

Tsukishima couldn’t help but smile at the warm feeling that spread through his chest, full of content and comfort. He felt safe, he felt at peace. _I feel at home._ He noticed with a small blush.

The whole situation with Satou made him realize his feeling for Kuroo where genuine, but also, he recognized it was not the best timing to try a new relationship. Despite his feelings for that crazy hair and obnoxious laugh he could not deny the heartbreak was still there. The helplessness and betrayal still ran through his veins.

He needed to work through that first.

The warmth spread through his whole body and the void in his soul felt less cold. He made his decision; the rational path was clear ahead of him. He would wait, work through his issues first with his amazing support system beside him and then he would try to win Kuroo’s heart.

He would give that stupid man with stupid hair and a stupid laugh and a stupid considerate personality his all once he was back as a whole.

_Kuroo deserves that much. And more._

For the next days Kuroo helped him on his search for a new apartment, the man sat with him and combed various websites and offers before passing them to Kei to look at, Kuroo accompanied him to look at the places and meet the landlords. Two weeks later Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi helped him move his stuff and get settled in his new apartment. It was tiny, even smaller than the one he used to share with Satou, but it was what he could afford on his own and the location wasn’t bad.

A couple of weeks later Akaashi learnt from some classmates that Satou had had several relationships with various men from Akaashi’s university for months, almost since the beginning of his relationship with Tsukishima. It was a premeditated plan, to have his official boyfriend in one place and all of his flings on another.

That afternoon after Akaashi told him the news, Kuroo allowed Kei to cry on his shoulder once again as the wounds on his soul reopened. Kuroo’s warm arms embraced him and the man whispered reassurances encouraging him to let it all out again.

Kuroo was with him when Kei received the call that confirmed his future as a now professional volleyball player. The bed-headed man screamed in pure joy and hugged the life out of him.

Days became weeks and weeks became months, Tsukishima wasn’t sure when the oppression in his chest went away, he didn’t notice when his heart started beating anew, he didn’t remember when his soul felt whole again. Tsukishima didn’t know when his feeling for Satou disappeared.

Tsukishima did notice that his feeling for Kuroo did not went away, quite the opposite, they grew larger and larger each day.

The constant texts became a daily occurrence, Kei found himself chatting through out the day with his bed-headed friend everyday with a small smile on his lips. What initiated as sporadic hang outs just the two of them became a weekly commitment where they planned a whole day or even a whole weekend to spend together.

Tsukishima wasn’t sure how it happened or when it started but light touches appeared every time they were close enough to have contact. A poke in the cheek, a gentle slap on the back, the brush of a hand here, a small friendly bump in the shoulder there.

And those stupid lips of his that still moved on their own could not stop smiling.

One particular Sunday Tsukishima was struggling more than usual, his stupid heart kept racing in his chest, his stupid hands felt sweaty and couldn’t stop fidgeting with his stupid fingers, his stupid lungs refused to breath normally. _Stupid body that does whatever it wants._ What was worse, his stupid eyes couldn’t stop staring at the man that sat beside him in that new little outdoor coffee shop.

Nothing escaped his gaze, Kei had memorized every line, every curve, every hair and engraved them in his mind. _Stupid Kei that wants to kiss him, control yourself Tsukishima, what are you? A hormonal teenager?_ Kei scolded himself and vowed to stay strong and _don’t succumb to the temptation, adult Tsukishima, compose yourself_.

His internal conflict self-combusted as tender lips pressed gently against his. It was short and soft but incredibly sweet and for Tsukishima Kei it was absolutely perfect. Kuroo pulled back slowly with a deep red blush and babbled incoherent apologies of _I don’t know why I did that_ and _I just really like you and couldn’t help myself._

The blond could swear his heart stopped beating all together as his world finally fell back into alignment. Tsukishima stopped Kuroo’s incomprehensible mumbles tangling his right hand in the back of that stupid crazy hair and pulled the man for a deeper kiss.

A couple of months later, the blond stood proudly clapping away with a heart filled with pride as his boyfriend graduated with not only a honorable mention for his thesis, but also an offer of a full time job in the National Volleyball Association.

That was the day “Tsukki” became “Kei”, and “Kuroo-san” became “Tetsurou.”

A few weeks before the start of his third year of university, Tsukishima found himself standing in front of a closed door with a suitcase gripped firmly in one hand. His feet seemed to be glued to the floor since he couldn’t take a step forward, his free hand trembled on its way to hold the doorknob.

The door opened before he could touch it though, crazy hair and a wide grin greeted him in the threshold.

“Come in, Kei. That’s the last one, right?” Tetsurou asked as he signaled the suitcase behind him. “I already put the rest of your things in our bedroom.”

The glue under his shoes melted away and freed him from the concrete, a bolt of electricity ran through his body and engulfed him in warmth. _I’m home._ His heart roared with content; his future seemed brighter than ever.

He was about to start his third year of university studying something he loved, he was a member of a professional team of the sport he loved, he was in a committed relationship with the man he loved.

Tetsurou reached out to grab him and gently pulled him forward. Tsukishima Kei entered the apartment he would now call home as his boyfriend guided him inside; Kei’s right hand wrapped comfortably in Tetsurou’s warm one.

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I’ll continue experimenting in this fandom for a while so… see you around.


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